Around this time of the year, what horror fan doesn’t like to curl up under a blanket, with a mug of hot chocolate on the side, to watch some really trashy Christmas horror movies? No? Is it just me? Oh well…
Just like the Halloween Special about Horror Guilty Pleasures, this article features my 10 picks for the best trashy horror movies to watch around Christmas time. In other words, in the next paragraphs you’ll find 10 very entertaining horror films that I consider either as guilty pleasures or so-bad-it’s-good movies. Please bear in mind that I’m not saying any of these flicks are good: some of them really aren’t, but I think they all succeed at being extremely enjoyable nonetheless. Read carefully and, if one or more of these films sound like your cup of tea, make sure to seek them out and watch them! Let’s now take a look at the 10 Best Trashy Christmas Horror Movies, listed in alphabetical order.
Continue reading and check the 10 trashy horror movies below…
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All Through the House (USA, 2015) – This is an 80s-style slasher film featuring a deranged killer dressed up as Santa Claus. In classic slasher fashion, the killer slices his way through bodies to get to the Garrett house, where he left some unfinished business. With a high body-count, All Through the House is notable for the insane amount of gratuitous nudity (which makes it really trashy), as the masked villain slaughters lascivious women and castrates attractive men left and right. If you like sleazy slasher flicks, All Through the House will make for a good Christmassy watch.
Battle Royale II: Requiem (Japan, 2003) – While it’s not particularly Christmassy, this movie does occur around Christmas, so I feel like it fits the list quite well. On top of that, it’s quite a trashy sequel to the 2000 cult-classic Battle Royale (a great film, albeit a bit trashy as well!). This time, we follow Shuya, a survivor of the original Battle Royale, who’s now become a terrorist. A new Battle Royal is ordered by the government and, this time around, Shuya is the target. Very cheesy in its social commentary and way cheaper than the original film, Battle Royale is still an entertaining and fun watch due to creative kills and cat-and-mouse logic.
Bikini Bloodbath Christmas (USA, 2009) – Well, you read the title. I don’t need to say anything more, do I? Anyway, Bikini Bloodbath Christmas is the third movie in the Bikini Bloodbath trilogy (yes, it really exists), and it’s truly awful. However, it’s awful in an exhilarating way, as we witness girls dressed up only in bikinis and Christmas hats running away from a killer chef. Bad acting and noticeably fake effects turn this dull slasher flick into a very enjoyable so-bad-it’s-good watch.
Christmas Cruelty! (Norway, 2013) – With two directing and five writing credits, this Norwegian film is a true mess! In fact, in the first two acts we follow a group of friends who are preparing for Christmas, as well as the killer as he stalks and does his final research for this year’s Christmas cruelty. The first hour of the movie is very serious (and a bit boring), but the third act is surprisingly twisted, entertaining and, you guessed it, trashy. The opening scene and ending to this movie are brutal and disturbing, but I mostly take pleasure in noticing all the continuity mistakes deriving from the different writers and directors. As I said at the beginning of this paragraph, Christmas Cruelty is a mess. But it’s a fun and mean-spirited mess!
Don’t Open Till Christmas (UK, 1984) – This British addition to the slasher genre centres around a man dressed as Santa killing other Santa-impersonators. This, obviously, leads him to brutally murder women who wear sexy Santa outfits, which is rather trashy (and fun) to watch. Another aspect that makes this flick very entertaining is the complete and utter incompetence of the Scotland Yard detectives who are after the killer: it’s hilarious to watch them miss all the clear evidence and fail spectacularly in every single instance.
Elves (USA, 1989) – Pay close attention to the plot of this movie: when a teenager accidentally cuts her hand during an Anti-Christmas pagan ritual with her friends in the woods, her spilled blood awakens an ancient demonic Christmas elf. The elf is the central figure in a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of conquering the world with. Rather than a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler instead dreamed of a race of half-human/half-elf hybrids. Is this not the trashiest story you’ve ever heard? The unintentional hilarity of this storyline, combined with awful gore effects and very tasteless themes, makes Elves one of the most memorable “so-bad-it’s-good” horror flicks ever, in my opinion. If you have a soft spot for 80s shitty movies, don’t miss out on this one!
Jack Frost (USA, 1997) – Perhaps the most infamous trashy Christmas horror movie ever, Jack Frost follows a serial-killer-turned-killer-snowman hell-bent on revenge for the sheriff who caught him. I believe this movie is still quite misunderstood: this is not just a shitty horror flick that turned out to be unintentionally funny. Jack Frost is a self-aware horror-comedy that tries to imitate and poke fun at 80s silly slashers. Sure, the movie has tons of problems, but it’s hilarious and self-aware enough for me to love it. If you like cheese and stupid one-liners, Jack Frost is the movie to watch around Christmas.
Red Christmas (Australia, 2016) – As I said in my old review of this flick, Red Christmas is not a good movie, although it does have seeds of a good film somewhere. The movie follows an Aussie family on Christmas day: they’re the trashiest people you can imagine, so when a demented stranger comes knocking on their door, what ensues is a descent into chaotic gore, politically incorrect jokes and an insane amount of stupidity. Surprisingly, Red Christmas features some deep social commentary and great practical effects. However, the remaining of the movie is focused on crass humour, nonsensical character dynamics and messy storyline. Even though it’s not a great picture, Red Christmas is the ideal watch for fans of trashy horror.
Santa Claus (Mexico, 1959) – You might be wondering how a 1959s Mexican horror movie titled Santa Claus can be considered like trashy entertainment. Again, the plot speaks for itself: in this convoluted movie, Santa works in outer space and has to battle a demon named Pitch sent to Earth by Lucifer to kill Santa, ruin Christmas and make children commit evil acts. The English-dubbed version is hilarious due to the awful voice acting, but the movie itself has its charm due to the odd combination of 50s sci-fi logic and made-for-TV Christmas story. Even though Santa Claus is far from being a great film, it features a solid script with important messages buried underneath the mental plot.
Santa Claws (USA, 1996) – To finish off this list, we have a true testament to trashy horror cinema. Santa Claws is a no-budget Erotic/Horror/Christmas movie where a B-movie horror actress is stalked by a killer dressed up as Santa Claus who wants her all for himself. This is, by far, the worst flick on this list: it looks like fecal matter, it’s terribly acted and very uneventful. But if you like to spice things up on Christmas with some gratuitous nudity and terribly fake gore, this is the one to go for.
Are you one of those people who love to watch entertaining trashy horrors on Christmas? If so, have you seen any of these flicks? If not, which ones would you like to watch the most? Let me know in the comments!
Get a copy of some trashy horror movies to watch on Christmas here:
You can find Christmas Cruelty! on Vimeo, Don’t Open Till Christmas on Hulu or iTunes and Santa Claws on YouTube.
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