The Story of Michael Myers #10. Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (2009) and the Halloween movies ranked from worst to best

One month to go to the new Halloween movie, perhaps one of the most anticipated horror films in recent times. Before getting all excited for the 25th of October (worldwide release date of the new Halloween film that will ignore all the sequels and remakes), let’s take a look at the last instalment in the franchise, the sequel to Rob Zombie’s Halloween.

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For those of you who got here, on this blog, for the first time, I wrote from January 2018 till now a series of reviews for all the Halloween movies: from the original classic by John Carpenter to the remake by Zombie and the sequel to that remake, again written and directed by Rob Zombie. I suggest you to check my review of the 2007 remake, because I think I gave quite an unbiased look to a remake that gets loads of – unwarranted – hate.

In addition, that review proves that I don’t have anything against the filmmaker behind The House of 1000 Corpses and Devil’s Rejects. This is something important to understand, because I really wanted to like Halloween II (2009)… too bad this flick is a convoluted, nonsensical train-wreck.

It’s unbelievable how such a simple storyline – Michael, once again, comes back for Laure after attempting to kill her in the movie that came out 2 years prior – has been made almost impossible to fully follow.

The movie continues right where the 2007 film ended: Laure is brought to the Haddonfield hospital, after having suffered injuries from Michael’s attacks that we’ve seen in the remake, but Michael Myers followed her and is now in the hospital, trying to finish is job… but guess what? It was all a dream.

Continue reading and check my ranking of the Halloween movies below… 


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Ain’t funny, Rob!

Is this a really distasteful joke? At this point, we are already 25 minutes into the movie and you’re telling me everything we’ve seen so far was a dream-sequence? Are you fucking kidding me? This is like a huge middle finger to the audience, as what happened in the first part of the runtime didn’t actually happen, it was just like a short movie inside a longer movie.

In addition, an opening like that means that the rest of Halloween II (what has to be considered as the real movie) is only 80 minutes long, not enough time to build an interesting story, at least for a film in the Halloween franchise.

In fact, Rob Zombie decides to set the story 2 years later after the events of the first movie, with Michael again trying to kill Laure, all the while Dr Loomis (still played by Malcolm McDowell) has been turned into a completely unlikeable money-hungry cartoonish figurine who wants to exploit the events of the first film to make money selling a book about them.

Does this plotline sound excessively simple to you? Well, don’t worry, because Zombie decided to constantly intercut the main storyline with obnoxious and surreal dream-sequences in Michael’s head, where he sees and interacts with his mom Sheri Moon Zombie (here we go again, she has to be in every film her husband makes…), always accompanied by a white horse.

From what I understand, Rob Zombie wanted to approach the subject matter with a different outlook: his intent was to show how both Michael and Laure were dysfunctional characters, each one dealing with different mental issues. I also wanted to give an ‘artsy’ or surreal spin to the slasher genre with this movie… which is quite a debatable decision to begin with. Don’t get me wrong, I understand and appreciate the willingness to create something different and more personal, and I respect Zombie for that. However, the final result is undeniably a failure.

Among other reasons that I mentioned above, Halloween II doesn’t feature any likeable character: I’ve already talked about Dr Loomis, who’s unbearable in the movie despite being always the best part of the sequels. Laure is a psychotic bitch in this one, cursing and screaming annoyingly all the time. The side characters (apart from Danielle Harris’) speak like they’re constantly drunk or on drugs.

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Sheri Moon and a young Michael Myers

On a positive note, the movie looks visually gorgeous, featuring some very impressive shots and sequences. Unfortunately, even the visual style is ruined by the excessive use of shaky-cam whenever Michael kills somebody. This flick could’ve at least been extremely gruesome and satisfying with regards to the gore department, but the way these sequences are filmed makes them nauseating and frustrating.

This might not be a popular opinion, or at least many people may think otherwise, but to me Rob Zombie’s Halloween II is really the worst film by Zombie. It’s also very disappointing for me, due to how much I liked the 2007 version of Halloween.

Halloween II (2009)                          3.5/10

Halloween_ The Entire Franchise.pngAnd now it’s time to rank all the Halloween movies from worst to best (in my opinion):

10        Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

9          Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

8          Rob Zombie’s Halloween II (2009)

7          Halloween: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989)

6          Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

5          Halloween H20: 20 Years Later (1998)

4          Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007)

3          Halloween IV: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

2          Halloween II (1981)

1          Halloween (1978)

And what’s your ranking for the Halloween movies? Let me know!

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