To describe Halloween: Resurrection it should be enough to remember that, upon its release, the genre of this film was officially changed from slasher/horror to horror-comedy.
In my series of reviews of Halloween movies, leading up to the upcoming Halloween movie (two months to go), we got to the lowest point. The new Halloween film will ignore all the sequels and, after seeing this atrocity known as Halloween: Resurrection, one would say it’s for the best.
After an opening scene where Laurie Strode is on screen for a few seconds – only to put Jamie Lee-Curtis on the poster for the movie – we follow a bunch of horny and dumb teenagers who agree on being part of a reality show that takes place in Michael’s former house. A show that has Busta Rhymes (what?!) as its host and that soon enough turns into a nightmare for the characters since Michael pays them a visit to kill them one by one.
What is there to say about this abortion of a movie? Should we start from the PG-13 rating, which would make any slasher as interesting as birdwatching in a place with no birds? Or maybe we should talk about the cast, more suitable for an American Pie flick than any other movie in the world?
Perhaps, shall we begin with the bluish colours so typical of early 00s American horror schlock and with the corny and unrealistic dialogues between characters with as much depth as a stool? Or is it worth mentioning the dubbing in scenes where the filmmakers realised there was no tension and no purpose, so they added voice over pretending certain characters were speaking?
Continue reading and check my final grade below…
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Why not starting from the constant and obnoxious exposition that explains even the most obvious and humourless jokes this atrocity against humanity is filled with? Could I start from the ‘fight scene’ between an unthreatening Michael Myers and an apparently cocked up Busta Rhymes (no seriously, Busta Rhymes?!) utilising… martial arts?
What about the casting? Why does this flick start so many talentless people (except for Katee Sackhoff)? Who did the casting, a person who spent their life watching low-profile tv shows on MTV?
Should I start with the incredibly obvious mistakes connected to the use of technology? For example, when ear the end of the film, Deckard is communicating to Sara’s handheld device where Michael Myers is in the house and, when Deckard tells Sara to “GO NOW!”, the text has changed from small digital text to large bold font and the screen has changed from green to white, similar to a large PC monitor.
Maybe, I can kick off with the director, Rick Rosenthal, who made the pretty decent sequel Halloween II (1981) and, 21 years after, completely forgot how to make a movie and gave humanity one of the worst sequels ever made. Or should I remind you all that this movie was made on an estimated $15,000,000 and feels like a no-budget student film?
In all fairness, Halloween: Resurrection has two good aspects. First and foremost, the score. And yes, it’s John Carpenter’s original score, but it still is effective 24 years after the slasher masterpiece Halloween (1978) used it first. Yet, the idea of showing parts of this flick through cameras placed on the teenagers’ head is quite clever and has potential: if done right, it’d subvert the killer POV trope, so typical of slasher flicks that, at this point in time, became a bit tiresome.
Too bad the movie as a whole is a steaming pile of shit.
Nevertheless, I’m excited to what’s coming up next in my series of reviews. I’m going to talk about two very controversial movies: Rob Zombie’s Halloween and Rob Zombie’s Halloween II… stay tuned, because I have loads to say about those flicks and I’d love to discuss them with my fellow readers.
Halloween: Resurrection 1.5/10