The Story of Michael Myers #6. Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995) – movie review

Oh boy, it’s that moment in my series on the Halloween movies. The moment where things get convoluted and nonsensical.

The Curse of Michael Myers 1.jpgWhat’s The Curse of Michael Myers all about, then? Six years ago, Michael Myers terrorised the town of Haddonfield once again, as we’ve seen in The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989). He and his niece, Jamie Lloyd, have disappeared, since a bunch of evil druids (lol) who protect Michael Myers kidnapped Jamie. Now, six years later, Jamie has escaped after giving birth to Michael’s child (what?! Is this Game of Thrones?). She runs to Haddonfield to get Dr Loomis to help her again. Meanwhile, the family that adopted Laurie Strode is living at Myers’ house and are being stalked by Michael himself – for some reason that’s beyond my comprehension. The curse of Thorn is what possesses Michael (what?!?) and makes him kill his family. In this movie, is up to Tommy Doyle, the boy from Halloween, and Dr Loomis (once again) to stop them all.

What the hell is this? What kind of unnecessarily complex and bloated story is this? Halloween is a slasher franchise: severed limbs, gory and creative killings should be the highlight. Who cares about this convoluted mess?

Besides, other than Donald Pleasance as Dr Loomis, the rest of the cast is terrible: Paul Rudd, in one of his earlies roles, is in The Curse of Michael Myers and he’s awful. I like Paul Rudd, he’s a skilled actor and he’s great in comedies… here he simply sucks!

This is the first sequel in the Halloween franchise to not have a Roman number in the title… that’s never a good sign!

The Curse of Michael Myers 2.jpgAlso, this is one of those movies where the production company interfered beyond imagination: they butchered the director’s vision (which probably wasn’t good to begin with) and forced mid-90s trashy tropes and dialogues to make this flick more appealing to masses… as a result, The Curse of Michael Myers got a limited theatrical release and was dismissed by both critics and audience.

I’ll write down some of the dialogue, so you can get an idea of how bad the script is:

Beth: Your sister would kill us if she knew we did it in her bed.

Tim Strode: Hey, it was your idea.

Beth: I am bad, aren’t I?

Tim Strode: Only when you wear crotchless panties and bark like a dog.

Beth: Where are you going?

Tim Strode: I gotta take a shower. You know, to stay fresh.

Beth: Watch out for the bogeyman.

Add to that an embarrassing amount of continuity errors, plot holes and goofs and you have a film that’s not just boring as hell, but it’s also riddled with bad acting and mistakes.

The biggest problem The Curse of Micheal Myers has, though, revolves around the villain himself. After five movies – Season of the Witch doesn’t count, since it didn’t have Michael in it – Myers has been explored and exploited to the limit. Here he’s not scary, badass nor interesting anymore. He’s like the generic bad guy of a Mexican telenovela, instead of the evil reincarnated!

Sure, The Revenge of Michael Myers is technically more flawed than this one, but at least it managed to be somewhat entertaining in its shittiness (is that a word?). The Curse really butchers what’s left of one of the most iconic horror villains ever. And that cannot be forgiven.

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers              2/10

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imdb My review is also available on IMDb – Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers 

 

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