An utterly ridiculous franchise that’s digging its own grave. Children of the Corn: Runaway – movie review

There is one rule in horror cinema: when sequels stop being recognisable by numbers and start having unimaginative names, they’re going to suck.

In a way, the Children of the Corn franchise is an exception to said rule. In fact, more or less each entrance with the exclusion of the original 1984 movie is atrocious to watch. And, yes, even the original film based off of a Stephen King’s novel is rather good but not exceptional.

In addition, most of the sequels were released direct-to-video, which is never a good sign considering how many horror franchised had been killed by that method of distribution (ahem… WTF happened to Hellraiser?).

Children runaway 1.jpgUnfortunately, Runaway – as well distributed direct-to-video – is in line with its terrible predecessors. To put it simple, Children of the Corn: Runaway is extremely uneventful, badly acted, lazily written, terribly paced, cheaply filmed, unbelievably unscary and, overall, painful to watch.

If you don’t care about my explanation, you can just skip the next paragraphs and go to the final grade (bear in mind, I was quite generous) and, please, avoid this pile of rubbish like the plague! Otherwise, get ready for a big, fat rant.

Runaway follows a young pregnant Ruth who escapes a murderous child cult in a small Midwestern town. She spends the next 13 years living anonymously like a gipsy with her son Aaron, until they truck is confiscated by the police and they are forced to stop in a small town where, apparently, there’s nothing but a police station and a diner. Because, you know, the filmmakers didn’t have enough budget to hire more than 5-6 actors and film in more than two different locations!

As I said, the movie follows Ruth casually working as a mechanic in the small town where she and her son are stranded, making friend with Carl who, for a while, is even likeable and then the script turns it into a formulaic asshole for no reason whatsoever. All the while, she’s having flashbacks about her childhood, most likely a cheap excuse to insert some Children of the Corn-like imagery in movie that has got nothing to do with King’s novel and the original 1984 film.

Children of runaway 2Believe me, the first 45/50 minutes of this flick show absolutely nothing of interest: even the camera-work is extremely dull and unimaginative, as though the filmmakers had only one amateur camera at their disposal. In fact, this 2018 movie seems to be coming from the early 90s for how badly lensed and cheaply filmed it is.

Yet, as you might know, the first Children of the Corn movie is a slasher about a cult with the supernatural element thrown in the mix. Here, however, neither the paranormal nor the typical slasher killings can be found.

Now, I’m rather tired of writing about this crappy flick, so I’ll give you two hints on why Runaway sucks.

First of all, the director (John Gulager – Feast, 2005 and Piranha 3DD) couldn’t find a single studio that was willing to finance his latest project; simultaneously, Dimension Production, which retains the rights for the CotC franchise, wanted to make a quick buck using a ‘successful’ label without investing in an expensive project. This unlikely combination generated the atrocity against humanity called Children of the Corn: Runaway.

Secondly, the flick went through humongous production issues, since it was initially supposed to have a theatrical release (lol!) but not a single investor thought that would have been a good idea…

Unfortunately, though, Runway found its way to be released and here I am, reviewing and giving it the grade that follows:

Children of the Corn: Runaway                 2/10

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imdb My review is also available on IMDb – Children of the Corn: Runaway